BM
This is a West Wimmera Health Service podcast. Presented by me, Brigitte Muir.
This series focuses around stories and issues related to health and wellbeing. Some of the people we hear from are sharing their stories, hoping that their experiences will help us with our own health and wellbeing. Please be aware that some of their life experiences may touch on issues that are sensitive to some. Please listen with care. You will find information on seeking help if you need it in the notes attached to each episode.
LGBTI+ an acronym you might have come across, along the more familiar terms of gay pride, gay Mardi Gras, gay people. Queer people, as they call themselves today did not choose not to be heterosexual. It is just part of who they are, which unfortunately, can be met with discrimination. Emotional isolation need not be any more though, as in the Wimmera queers from all walks of life, including farming, now have an organisation they can join for support, the Wimmera Pride Project. I met Patrick Quaine, Wimmera Pride Project Treasurer and new Horshamite.
PQ
I've been here for about five years now, so I grew up in the south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne, suburb called Mentone …by the beach. It's a nice place to grow up, I certainly miss the beach here in Horsham *Chuckles*
BM
So why did you move to Horsham?
PQ
I …was struggling to get a graduate job. I studied engineering… and science and wanted to do engineering, and I got a job offer here in Horsham, and I haven't really looked back in terms of my job. It's, it's great job.
BM
The Wimmera Pride Project, tell me a bit about that, please.
PQ
It was founded in…. I believe it's 2015, by Maddi Ostapiw and Loucas Vettos. It started as a way for them to advocate for the LGBT community here in Horsham, and hopefully building more broadly to the Wimmera, and help run some social events, so people felt safe included in this community. My partner and I moved here to Horsham, we reached out to the Facebook page and met Maddi, and… since then, it's grown into a…a committee and we've always encouraged people to come along if they would like to help out with whatever public advocacy we might be doing, social events and whatever ideas that other people might have, and they want to bring to the table, the door's always open.
BM
I believe, that the right acronym these days is LGBTI+. Can you please explain to me what that is?
PQ
So, L stands for lesbian. G stands for gay, which is more often referring to… male homosexuals. B is for bisexual, so your, that's when you're attracted to more than one gender, and T is for transgender, that so, that someone who identifies with the gender that they weren't assigned with at birth, and you might often get I and Q added on to that. I is for intersex, so that someone who doesn't fit in the standard… the stereotypical definition of biologically male or biologically female, and Q is often used for queer, which is an umbrella term for everything, or questioning, people are not quite sure where they are yet. And the plus is used to encompass any other part of our community that might not be represented by those letters. It's an inclusive community, so… if you're not there, you're part of the plus.
BM
When you live in the country, your usually part of a community whatever that is, you know, in a small town, or the farming community, or the sports community, to footy community, whatever. Communities are generally pretty inclusive. You don't feel like communities include people how are not heterosexual
PQ
In rural and regional communities, you get more of a sense of community… than you do, living in the city, in the suburb. I’ve always known that, and I've certainly felt that since I moved to Horsham. People that have grown up here in Horsham, and some of the other…outlying suburbs have said that they didn't feel that sense of community, if they identified as LGBTIQ+, identified as queer… I'll just say queer to make it easier.
BM
Right, ok.
PQ
*chuckles* I think that's changing. I think really close knit communities… will stand up for people that are queer. When they know someone they've grown up in that community is queer. The world has changed, it's much more accepting. You don't know, what you don't know. If you do know someone whose queer, then you're more likely to change your attitude, be more open and accepting to people that might be similar but also different. I think the queer community, is something that was built back when queer people weren't part of regular communities, I guess. Having a community is a lovely thing, and if we lived in a world where we didn't need a queer community, but queer people were part of every community I think, I think that's the dream of most advocates.
BM
People are scared of the unknown, aren’t they? I mean, that's what you just pointed out. If it's… if it's someone that you've known since they were little, you are more likely to accept them as a person… without questioning whatever their sexual inclinations are, or differences are, then if it's someone you don't know.
PQ
Yeah, exactly.
BM
Yeah, and it seems to me… that even so, people still have a problem coming out.
PQ
I think even if you grew up in the most liberal household in… I don’t know, in the middle of San Francisco, it would still be hard to come out. It is a scary thing. Because… when you're in the closet…
BM
Now, for those who don't know, coming out means just…
PQ
Yeah
BM
…announcing to the world that…
PQ
Being open and public about your sexuality, or your gender identity, basically. When you're in the closet, and before you've come out, all you see is the negative impacts… and that is what you see more than the positive impacts, and even if your parents are welcoming and accepting, you still see stories in the media, online, in books, of… people being rejected by their family, and in your mind is the possibility that you could be rejected and that… is a frightening concept for anybody.
BM
Of course it is yes
PQ
So, until you finally take the leap, you're gonna have that anxiety.
BM
Now, what are the main… health issues facing… people who are queer, especially in the country, of course…
PQ
Yeah
BM
…because we're talking about people living on the land.
PQ
It's very diverse, because we’re such a diverse group. For gay males… there is a higher prevalence of HIV, but through education and controls, such as pre- exposure prophylaxis, which is a daily pill you can take… to reduce your risk of being infected by HIV. That's come down a lot. There are actually some places in Australia, such as Western Australia that had a higher amount of… heterosexual men that contracted HIV in recent years, because… they went and travelled overseas… and saw sex workers there and contracted it. For transgender people getting gender affirming health care is… extremely difficult in regional areas. We are fortunate in, if you're based in Melbourne, that we do have good, good services. Unfortunately, it's usually a long wait list. But even if you have access to them, as someone here and in Horsham, you still have to travel to… there are some services in Ballarat, have to travel to Ballarat or Melbourne to get those services, so, it's not as readily available as normal healthcare. So, that's probably something that needs to change significantly. For intersex people the Victorian Government is working on legislation to change… they call it corrective surgeries, to try to make someone appear more male or female
BM
If they wish to, obviously.
PQ
Yeah, well, it's historically has been done on infants…when they've been born.
BM
Wow
PQ
So obviously… the, the infant didn't consent to that. And when you learn a bit more about how your gender identity, and your sexual characteristics can be very different. It's easy to understand why it might be better to wait until that person's grown up, how they feel about themselves. Before making the decision to change their bodies. Particularly with the transgender community, it's the fear of being able to go to the doctor, the fear of getting treatment or being judged. There needs to be a lot more… understanding …a lot more knowledge of transgender health care, and if, if a doctor doesn't have that knowledge, referral on to someone who does, in a kind and respectful manner.
BM
Yes. What about mental issues? We’re talking about people on the land? Do you have many farmers in your group?
PQ
Not a huge amount. We have had a couple that have come to events. We don't have many that are very open… out with talking about it. There's still a very big generational divide. There can be people that are…. in their, even just over… the over 40 in this area, can still be very frightened to come out. I know of one person who runs a business, who identifies as LGBTQ, but they have never come out publicly because they are worried that their clients will stop supporting their business. But, going back to the mental health thing LGBTQ people are hugely overrepresented in statistics related to depression, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts… and… there's been plenty of research to indicate it isn't because we’re… have a genetic predisposition to it. It's often cited as minority stress. It's where if you're part of a minority, you may be subject to discrimination, you may be made to feel unwelcome all these sort of society impacts, can manifest in ways that lead people to doubt themselves, to doubt their worth and when you have a parent that's not accepting and you don't have that normal sort of support, any sort of family that's supportive. It's very easy to see how that would spiral, and I thank my lucky stars that I was told I was loved, and shown that I was loved by my parents, my whole life, even after I came out. It’s something that…I can't imagine not to have that love and support. So, to any child whether their LGBT or not, should have that support. To not have that support and then also have… discrimination from school, from your… footy club, from any sort of group that you admire and care for, because you're also LGBT. It's something that I haven't been through, and I can only imagine how difficult that would be.
BM
Yes, it's… hard enough trying to fit in your own life, and your own community. And if you've got that other layer of issues that you have to deal with from the outside and from within yourself, makes life pretty bloody hard, doesn't it?
PQ
Growing up and being a teenager is rough, regardless of your situation. So, you add on extra pressures of hearing things… doubt...
BM
Bullying…
PQ
Yeah, bullying about your sexuality. Even, even if you're not actually out…and you still see people… that are perceived to be… gay are being bullied, you still take that on when you see other people being bullied.
BM
Of course
PQ
So it's tough.
BM
What would you advise to people on the land… who feel like they don't live a full life, because they haven't been able to share who they really are?
PQ
I've never met someone… that regretted coming down, and the vast majority of people regret that they didn't come out sooner. It's this amazing weight that's lifted off you, that you didn't even know was there, in some cases. You're often surprised by the amazing reactions that you do get from people. That's easy for me to say, in the generation that I've grown up in. If, if it's someone that's lived through times where people were being murdered, and their murders weren’t being investigated, and there's no trust in the police, I can see… why it would be harder. And I grew up in the suburbs of Melbourne, not in a small regional community. Where here, like I've discussed earlier, it's really hard to come out to your family, because you've got the anxiety of losing them. If you grew up in a small community, you'd have exactly the same anxiety of losing that community. I try to understand the anxiety and the challenge, but all I can say is… I think you will be happier if you're true to yourself
BM
And if someone is hesitating, and feels like they need some support from the outside, how easy is it to get in touch with the Wimmera Pride Project?
PQ
They can always contact us on our Facebook page…that's probably the best way to contact us, or our email. We don't offer peer support services… but I'm always going to answer a phone call to someone who needs to chat. We, we’ll always direct you to the services we know and trust to, to provide good treatment, but if you want to speak to someone in… Horsham, that knows what you're going through, to a certain extent we're always going to be here. One of the things that really helped me to come out, was just chatting to other gay people… and… just switching my mind to say ‘oh, they exist’. They're real people. They've gone through the same things as I have. You're not alone. You're not alone, and it gets better. I often… realise I wasn't… I don't think I was ever depressed when I was in the closet, but I'm a much happier person since I've come out of the closet. And… it's amazing the difference that makes in every aspect of your life. Whether it's at work, whether it's with your family, whether, maybe your sporting team, if that's your thing, it's not my thing, but… I'm sure there are people that do enjoy it. It really allows you to thrive.
BM
Is there anything else that you would like to… talk about?
PQ
The word queer? Obviously, for people… of older generations, they might really dislike that word because there's a lot of negative connotations with it.
BM
Yeah, it goes with weird…
PQ
Yeah…whereas… young, the younger people like to use the term queer because it’s umbrella and includes everyone, and you don't have to worry about which letters to remember or forget. That's why I like, it as well. I think queer labels have helped people… create a community where they didn’t have one, nowadays our communities are letting people in. So… what I would like to see is… a bit of patience… a bit of understanding and a bit of… identifying our common humanity. We shouldn't use our queer labels… to divide ourselves from people that aren't queer. We shouldn't use it to divide ourselves within the community, queer community, we should… all be seeing a common humanity that we all want what's best for each other… and try and find common ground rather than trying to rip each other down.
BM
I like it.
PQ
*chuckles
BM
That works for me.
BM
Thank you so much Patrick…
PQ
No problem *chuckles*
BM
…it was great talking with you. That was Patrick Quaine, Wimmera Pride Project treasurer.
You will find as always contact numbers and details, in the notes attached to this episode. And while you're at it, please give us a star rating. We'd also love to hear your comments and suggestions. Our Facebook and Twitter details are in the notes. Until next have a healthy life won’t you.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai edited by the WWHS Health Promotion Team.
